It’s been a while since we’ve done a giveaway, and so when I was contacted by Fibers.com to potentially partner up and give away one of their wine-themed t-shirts I couldn’t resist.
This is primarily because they combine wine with one of my closet indulgences: slogans so bad that they become fantastic. I’m not at all religious, but I’ve long been fascinated with the epically, awesomely terrible slogans posted on church billboards; they are just so heinously good (if that makes sense). For example, some gems that I’ve encountered during my driving travels:
“If you give the devil a ride, sooner or later he’s gonna want to drive.”
“God doesn’t want shares of your life; He wants controlling interest!”
“God answers ‘Knee Mail’”
That last one is sooooo wonderfully terrible!
Anyway, you’ve got a chance to win a free, customizable wine t-shirt from Fibers.com just by commenting on this here post! To maximize the fun (for me, anyway!), to become eligible you need only comment here with your favorite terribly awesome wine slogan. Ideally, you’ll come up with puns as wonderfully bad as the ones those churches are able to churn out, only wine-related.
I’m thinking along the lines of “Making good wine is a skill; making fine wine is an art; unless your name is Rudy Kurniawan, in which case it’s probably a federal offense!” or “I once had budding career in wine growing, but the bad economy green-harvested it.” You gotta admit, those are so bad that they could become endearing… anyway…
In one week I will randomly select a winner from the commenters, and contact them via email with the details on how to claim their Tee.
So get commentin’ and show off your creative side!
Cheers – and good luck!
Life is a Cabernet, old chum…
@Sedimentblog – ah, the old classic…
WE'RE old classics!!
Tru dat, @Sedimentblog
Save Water, Drink Wine
Thanks, Myles!
I'm Never Late to Taste Good Grape
Jeff – ohhhhhh, I like that!
Pop a Cork and Breathe
Thanks, SAHMmelier!
On another note – the most poplular wine in New York: "You never take me to Florida!"
Jeff – I think you mean "whine?" ;-)
Jesus drank water and wine. Amen.
Jade – Amen! :)
Instead of complaining, just WINE
tcat – HA!!! Good one…
After wining, I feel grape!
MyrddinGwin – ugh! groaner! It's perfect!!! :)
Juicy, exotic and sultry…..I meant the wine!
Christine – good one.
Dionysus, god of wine, give me courage reinforce my spine!
Joel – ha!!
A bottle a day helps to stave away the grapes of wrath
NIce one, Melissa!
Very nice!
I drink therefore I am – Descartes
Simon – quite philosophically minded of you!
It's Wine O'Clock somewhere!
Thanks, @eatandrun – that one is a groaner classic, but I certainly have used it (same with "beer-thirty" :-).
Overheard in Biloxi: "They make some really good red Burgundies over there from that 'pin it in your ear' grape"
Paul – HA!!
oenophiles unite
M G Callahan – especially when they’ve got bottles in tow! :)
Wine. Now there's a temporary solution.
Marsala – HA! Love it.
Cork Blocked
Larry – that one might also need a graphic… :)
This one's "borrowed" but good fun: Wine – now cheaper than gas. Drink. Don't drive.
Thanks, Aussie!
If you must drink, call a cab(ernet)
WenWAWino – HA!!!
And we used to do a lot of drugs and get very drunk on very cheap wine by santiago Durango
melisa – is that Hemingway? EPIC!!!
Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness
mary – okay that is kind of a downer… :)
I'll get around to it wine it pleases me.
Don – ba-dum-DUM! :)
All beer and no wine make Jack a dull boy.
Or how about – "Wine – The Ultimate 'Stimulus' Plan"
Thanks, all – keep 'em coming!
What a wine-derful world!
or
It's a wine-derful life!
@WenWAWino – okay, those are terrible. I love them.
wine me…..dine me……** me!
Scott – finally the Playboy influence here rears its head! :)
Rise and wine!
Thanks, Suzanne!
This is Champagne-specific but pretty trashy:
Champagne is like a lover. He may not be my first choice but I'm not gonna kick 'im outta bed!
Elise – It might be my first choice actually! :)
Agree but only certain champagnes. There are definitely wines that would get kicked out of bed – Yellow Tail anyone? – but probably even the most average champagne would still make the cut. Talk to me about good grower champagne though and it's a whole other story!
Elise – +1 on the Grower Champers!
"Sutter Home Wines. Taste the Commitment." Oy.
Fred – ooookaaaaayy…..
I should add something here: I am not dissing on Sutter Home, I am just dissing on that terrible slogan!
Bumper sticker seen in California:
CHARLES SHAW FOR PRESIDENT
Values you can believe in!
(Disclosure: I do Bronco PR.)
harvey – HA!!!
Round is a shape just ask a grape!
Dan – HA! Sesame Street? :)
Be like wine and chill
Thanks, April!
I like my wine like I like my women –
dark, luscious and all over my lap while I'm driving.
Bradley – in my experience, the best kind of car in which to do that is… someone else's!
All I do is wine wine wine!
One did one grape say to the other grape?
"Does my skin make me look tannic?"
~I made this up I promise (if it is an actual joke that is completely coincidental)
Mark – HA!!
Quit wining and pour me some MEAD! (meadmaker here!)
kim – HA! Awesome!
Wine Tasting..where spitting is just as good as swallowing
Renee – HA!!!!
I may have to get that shirt made regardless… lol
It would be criminal if you didn’t! :)
Wine is a Lifestyle that chooses you, then you Marry… Lorrie S. LeBeaux
Lorrie – and then you pay taxes…
Aaaaaand we have a randomly-selected winner! WenWAWino's comment was picked by the random number generator – congrats, WenWAWino (sending you an email to confirm your winnings)!
Thanks again to everyone for the great comments!